Rose Tinted Snow
by Hikari no Donya
Summary: [shonen-ai RK] Contemplations in the snow... from a seeming cold blader. But is he as cold as everyone thinks? Maybe he feels more than we know...


Rose Tinted Snow 

My new ReiKai fanfic. It's more of a sweet one, no humour. Just contemplations. Same as always, I don't own Beyblade or the characters. Shame…

This is a thank you for my yami… for all the patient beta-ing she does for me. And for putting up with her annoying hikari. 

~*~*~*~

Before him, I never once doubted who I was or my purpose in this world. I never questioned my fate, or my future, for it had all been decided for me long before I could remember. The only things that existed for me were my battles and I pursued them with a single-minded dedication that would have sent my mentors into paroxysms of delight. It was what I was trained to do and I did it to the best of my abilities; I didn't know how to do anything else. But now, it isn't like that anymore. Somewhere along the way, my goals were pushed aside and something else became a large part of my life. He became a part of my life.

It was obvious that I felt something for him, just what that something was, I don't know. Or maybe it's simply that I don't want to know, because as perfect as I may appear, the reality is that I'm not. I wasn't as cold as I seemed, not as harsh as my eyes would suggest. I feel things, just like everyone else. Perhaps not as easily and freely, but I still have emotions nonetheless. I've known feelings of failure, satisfaction, responsibility, and guilt, but they were always in connection to the war and nothing else. I never expected to ever feel anything else in my lifetime, but for the first time in my life I knew fear and another emotion that is less easily defined. And it's not because of something, but someone. It was because of him.

I thought I knew myself and the possibility that I didn't terrified me. There are some things that even the Perfect Blader would prefer not to face, and this was one of them.

I stood watching him as he sat on a cold bench in the middle of the park, arms folded across his chest in a seemingly relaxed manner. I wanted to approach him, but I was too unsure. I felt I should look away, but I couldn't make myself do so. I was stuck in limbo between two different possibilities, helpless to make a step towards either one, and it left me feeling incomplete. In my mind, I couldn't help but associate it with a battle and thus with failure. The blader that I was found the situation intolerable, but I wasn't ready to finish it.

I don't know what he felt for me, but I think he would have understood. Out of all the other members of the BBA team, we were the most alike in terms of personality and past. We were both impossibly self-contained, providing a front for the world and our friends that was impossible to penetrate. When we were with each other though, we both acted differently. He was the first and most likely the only person to hear me laugh. If nothing else, he admired my strength and the air of competence I exuded. I admired him as well, but for different reasons.

That's not to say that I didn't think him a good blader, because I did. You had to be to make it this far. What I respected was despite of his parentless upbringing; he was still able to care for others. I knew he had been betrayed in ways that even I never had been, and his emotional scars ran deep beneath that blank mask. One would expect him to be even more closed off than I was, but somehow he let Yuri and Rai into his heart…maybe even me.

If someone was to watch us interact, they would surely look at our friendship as one sided. He was the kind and considerate one, the one who lent a helping hand when I needed it. I appeared to only tolerate it. What they wouldn't see was the fact that I trusted him with my life and my secrets. I was comfortable just being with him; I didn't have to keep it all inside. I could say what was on my mind and look at him with softer eyes, knowing that he wouldn't see it as a flaw. By simply not pushing him away, I showed that I cared for him. I know it wasn't much, but it was the best I could do. I think he appreciated it.

He looked cold sitting there, his thin clothes scant protection for the unexpectedly cold Japanese winter that had blown in the night before. His breath left him in steady, wispy trails of nothingness, hanging in the air for a moment before disappearing as if it never was. He was so painfully slender that his body couldn't have insulated him much from the chill, but he didn't shiver or show any sign of discomfort. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed, but I knew he was aware of every little thing that occurred around him. With his soft black hair and brilliant golden eyes he was attractive yes, but I didn't know what it was about this one boy that drew me so.

"You've been standing there a long time." He hadn't lifted his head or opened his eyes since I had arrived, but he had known I was there all along. I expected nothing less from him.

Slowly, I walked towards him and dropped silently to sit beside him. We didn't talk, instead we sat in companionable silence and I savoured the warmth of his body so near mine.

After a moment, he opened him eyes and the corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. "It's snowing."

I said nothing. It was just snow after all.

"Look closer."

So I did and I was greeted with an unexpected sight. The snow that fell in light, gentle flakes was a soft shade of candyfloss pink. It landed on and all around us, like something out of a dream. He lifted a hand to catch some of it, the pleasure in his eyes apparent. 

"It's coloured because-"

"Kai," he interrupted, "there are some things in life that you shouldn't question. Knowing the why of it wouldn't change the beauty of it, so we shouldn't waste time asking pointless questions. We find happiness in acceptance."

I stared at him, wondering if there was a hidden meaning in his words, before deciding that he was right: It didn't matter. I wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close and he laid his head upon my shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

And so we sat together, enjoying the delicate rose coloured snow. And through it all, I never once questioned how right this felt.

~*~*~*~

That's it. Kinda mushy and sweet. Please review ^^


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